C.C.'s
Work
Excuses

---

1. Got Drunk at Kelly's
2. P.M.S.
3. Cat had Surgery
4. In Jail
5. Dyed Hair and it turned green
6. In Detox
7. Have to be in Court
8. Hangover (honest)
9. Forgot it was Monday
10. My ride didn't pick me up
11. Stomach Cramps
12. Death in The Family
13. Back went out.
14. Flight Delay
15. Tooth Pulled
16. Slipped Down Stairs
17. Headache
18. No Ride
19. Roads not plowed
20. Too Foggy Can't see to drive.
21. Flu
22. Reaction to Medication
23. Upset Over Break-up
24. Common Cold
25. Eye Dr. Appt.
26. Sun Burn
27. Child Sick
28. Went into Labor (Women only)
29. Wife or Girlfriend Had Baby (Men only)
30. Stressed out
31. Car Accedent (not hurt just shook up)
32. Tooth Ache
33. Military Duty
34. Ear Ache
35. Jury Duty
36. Heater Broke ( waiting for repairman - Meeting him at Kelly's)
37. Unexpected Company (FBI)
38. Unexplained Rash
39. It's my Birthday
40. I was kissing my girlfriend goodbye, and our braces locked (Teen Men Only)
41. Lack of Interest
42. Mr. Bacardi spanked me!
43. The Bulls are playing!
44. Can't tell you, it's personal!
45. The sun was finially shining.
46. I was losin' my virginity.
47. I was having an affair.
48. I had eye problems...coudln't see going into work
49. I was Jacking Off and lost track of time
50. I didn't say Mom died, I said I had to bury a stiff!
51. I feel to good to work today
52. Alarm didnt go off
53. Very ill, sick of working
54. Too Much Shagging
55. My Helicopter Broke down
56. My Hamster Exploded in his cage
57. I broke my collor bone playing soccer
58. Got drunk jumped out of plane forgot parachute
59. I already called in sick once this week, so today, I'm calling in dead !
60. It's agianst my religion to work
61. I'm sick. (It was "Explosive diahrea")
62. I HAD SCABBIES.
63. Worried about moms pregnancy,wondering if it may be mine.
64. Hangnail trouble
65. I had something up my ass, he wouldn't get out!
66. Overslept because my alarm was in a hurry
67. Had to stay home and pluck the cat.
68. My wife is going to have a baby --- In nine months
69. Number 69? Well, I had to turn around.
70. I don't work for assholes
71. I was too busy having sex with your wife
72. Train stopped me!!!
73. I am not getting paid enough asshole!!!!!
74. I was with my exes best friend!!!
75. SORRY I WAS 10TH IN LINE AT YOUR DAUGHTER'S DOOR!!!
76. I forgot I had a job.
77. I was peeping at your wife in the shower
78. Had to empty my exe's savings accounts
79. Being chased by cops while sleeping in my car
80. Don't wanna talk about your mother that way it might hurt your feelings.!!!!!!!!!!!
81. Cat is depressed
82. Had to screw Hillary, I feel sick, you run the country Al.
83. Lost my keys in the snow
84. I ALREADY HAVE MY 40 HOURS FOR THIS WEEK
85. I didn't think I had to show up every day
86. I forgot my car keys in your house, and can't get in my car
87. I thought today was thursday
88. No hot water in shower. Girlfriend used it.
89. I was warmin' up my bride-to-be.
90. My monkey got loose (guys only)
91. Lost track of time watching C-Span
92. I kept telling your wife I needed to get to work on time...
93. My old lady's expecting a baby (In nine months)
94. I found someone cheaper
95. I went to hell for screwing my boss's daughter.
96. You were to hard on me last night.
97. I found a better blow job
98. Your wife took me out to breakfast
99. Since I did every thing last week I'm taking this week off!
100. I don't work here anymore!
101. I was drunk and stoned!
102. I DONT KNOW WHAT YOUR TALKING ABOUT IVE BEEN HERE ALL DAY
103. ELVIS landed in my back yard last night and...
104. I was abducted by aleins.......
105. My Dog ate my calendar
106. Job??!?!!? I have a job? I thought you paid me to make fun of you.
107. i just didn't wanna
108. My job...Man I just could not fit it onto my schedule!
109. Your wife forgot to call in for me to take a sick day!
110. I still don't know why ! ...
111. I was involved in a religous ceremony...praying to the porcelin god
112. Today was a holiday!
113. Heh it's hard to get off a warm body...
114. Ear Infuction too much screwbadiving in the Pussyfic Ocean had to go to my Dicktors to get it fingered out.
115. Twat? I cunt hear you? I've got an ear infuction..job? I rectem I'll finger it out later.!
116. she's still stuck on my dick.
117. My wife and I are joined at the hips.
118. I WENT TO SEE MICHAEL JACKSON'S FATHER, TO GET DISPLINED!
119. i forgot to wrap mr gerbil in sticky tape and it exploded
120. I'm a blonde. That's excuse enough!!
121. Don't speak to me like that!
122. I left my underwear in your wife's drawer and had to get it.
123. I took a shit and clogged a public bathroom.
124. I was constipated and i couldn't get up
125. Golf cart broke down after 8 holes this morning.
126. My wife is having sex, and I wanted to be there.
127. Your mom was visiting for the weekend.
128. To drunk to find my car
129. had a hard one all night and could not walk in the morning
130. You f%@#@d me so hard yesterday, I didn't think I had to come today, sorry!
131. hmm...yeah, why I wasn't here? um...
132. I was building a thermo nuclear detonator!
133. my retarded friend locked me in the house
134. I was a little short on paying the debt on your wife, so she sexually tortured me
135. Recovering from foot surgery, yours in my ass
136. You told me not to tell your gay secret so I'm not coming back.........whoops....
137. If I had 5 more minutes, I would always be on time!
138. Your daughter was so good last night I had to get a second helping this morning!
139. I'm not late, your fucking clock is an hour fast!!!!!
140. Sorry but I have the BROWN BOTTLE FLU
141. I dont wanna , too fucking lazy!!!
142. I'm a part time prostitute, and was to shagged to come in!
143. I woke up and was to small/big for my clothes.
144. I ate an apple from a witch, which put me in a comma!
145. Bang!!! I'm SHOT!!!!!!
146. Went to bed with a dog, woke up with rabies!
147. In a coffin
148. I thought you fired me yesterday!
149. Your mum wouldn't let me get off the bed!
150. Who are you? Who am I? I have amnesia! Where the fuck am I?
151. Remember I told you yesterday! I have amnesia! God some people are so stupid!
152. Are you at work? So am I!
153. Sorry family crisis. Cow(wife) died of B.S.E!
154. Car park was full, so I drove home!
155. I want to kill you today, so I thought I'd better stay at home!
156. I forgot my keys and got locked in the porch!
157. Feeling faint, my huge erection is coming up again!
158. Didn't your wife tell you? I guess she was orgasming to loud and didn't here me!
159. Massive hand and wrist cramp!
160. tryed to blow off my friend so i could get to work on time but then your wife came over
161. I died and came back to life
162. I had to read all the work excuses at the Kelly's Web Page!!! oopps
163. Too busy choking my chicken
164. I got shagged rotten last night baby yeah!!
165. U talking to me?? Are you talking to me??? Do you know what I am going to do to you??
166. It's stuck in a barrel!!!
167. Sorry I was turning GAY!
168. Lost track of time while reading Kelly's Jokes on the NET.
169. Had to teach a blond.
170. Waching your wife have an afair with my dog.
171. My sack schrunk
172. I'm not late , I was having sex with my wife in her office
173. lost trak of time watching my cat fucking your dog
174. I was getting the taste of your cock out of my mouth
175. I was in a Mental Hospital
176. Your fuken dog eat my clothes while I was fucking your wife.
177. your fucken cat was tryng to eat my bird...
178. Stuck in Québec.
179. Overslept because I stayed at my awesome girlfriends house too late
180. had an affair with cassy
181. can't work unless it does do with sex and i'll work overtime for that sir
182. 24 hour fucking syndrome
183. My dog was trying to eat my cat which was trying to eat my bird which was trying to eat a mouse which was trying to eat the cheese that I had poisned for you as a gift..here's your chee.......ooppss.....
184. I took a shit in my pants... So i had to throw my underware away!! Besides they looked like a coffee filter !
185. (Blond) I could'nt turn the blinker off on my car so I ended up driving into a ditch..
186. Got drunk and enlisted in navy
187. Is it really Monday?
188. had to choke the living shit out of my mother in-law
189. I knew I was going to take a dumb, and wanted to use my own toilet
190. my kids missed their school bus
191. I left my car keys at your house.
192. Because I quit!
193. What?
194. My cat ate my log on card then I had to take it to the vet
195. Because your daughter came late...
196. got pulled over by the cops on my way to work for speeding and in the process of bribing the cop got busted for solicitation.
197. I got busted for drink driving on my way to work!
198. All work and no play makes me really CRANKY!!!
199. Had to eat
200. calling in dead sounds bad
201. I had sex last night and got to much!!
202. I'm too high to drive , can't find my car, can you come and pick me up?
203. My Dixie Wrecked
204. i got drunk and somebody hid my car last nite !!
205. fuck it, I was down on it
206. I fell in the BUSH !!!
207. I DIDN'T EAT MY WHEATIES!!!!!!
208. I was smoking a big fattie
209. died
210. Got Drunk this morning while I was waiting for my ride.
211. Arrested for attempted murder I DIDN'T DO IT!!!! I DIDN'T!!!! YOU'RE DEAD YOU SON OF A BITCH
212. Rats chased me around all night
213. My toenails attacked my television
214. I fell I love with a guy on the net and I had to send him e-mail saying I loved him but I couldn't stop writing "I love you I love you ..." ...my hands didn't want to stopt typing. "I love you , I wana fuck you"
215. Brother hit by car, mine.
216. It was my son's birthday so I gave him a birthday party and I have the right to take off!!!
217. I don't work for assholes.
218. I chipped a nail and had to go to Emergency
219. I GOT LAID, BY YOUR SISTER'S HAMBSTER!!SO FUCK OFF!YOU COCK SUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!
220. i got jiginitess so have to go fishin to get rid of it!!!!!
221. I heard there was going to be a bomb threat today!!
222. WENT TO A DOUBLE FUNERAL MOM SHOT DAD IN THE COCK
223. I was off eating your wife's pussy, and she just wouldn't let go off me
224. my dick hurt
225. Don't you remember last night? Weren't you late to? Oh, that was your son i was fucking this morning! He's only 13, right?
226. I had such a good fuck i didn't want to leave. Actually I didn't. Meet my sexfriend, Derick!
227. I had so much fun fucking last night i didn't want to leave. Actually, I didn't. Meet my sexfriend, Derick
228. I hate the people I work with!
229. Because me and your wife were having sex you fucking fruity bastard
231. hey!!! I can't see it! (#230)
232. I QUIT!!!! and by the way I've been sleeping with your wife
233. went to kennys funeral
234. I LEFT MY GOOD PAIR OF UNDERWEAR AT YOUR MOMS HOUSE
235. I've got bong blisters all over my fingers
236. Hey, I got a big dick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
238. dick-n-pussy
239. my dick ran out of sperm
240. I saw your mom fucking your sister
241. I saw your mom fucking your sister
242. I saw your mom fucking your sister
243. ass was to good
244. YOU wr
245. got so drunk at Kelly's that I put my false teeth in upside down and chewed up half my head.
246. was with your son all nite in his room did't you here all the noise oh ya i forgot u were at work for me
247. Wife's getting pregnant and I want to be there.
248. I was at Kelly's Bar last night and saw your wife, mother, daughter and son there. We went back to my place and played around. Your daughter is such a slut!!! Do you teach her how to fuck at home? Your son is gives a great blowjob (He's what, 13?)and I won't even talk about your wife though!!!!! MMmmm what a pussy!!! Your mom was a bitch though. Anyway, we played a little late. Your women wouldn't let me leave!!!!
249. I just went out for a cigarette after having sex with your secretary. She says I have a bigger dick then you, but your wife has the sweetest pussy.
250. I was tired after last night with you. You have so much energy to be here early after last night! Wanna do it again?
251. fuck off
252. fuck off fuckface
253. i quit
254. The poker game went into overtime!
255. Your dad's false teeth got stuck in my dick
256. your wife was bad so this morning i went to your grandmas
257. My mouth was too sticky.
258. I was eating cherries last night, and got too tired.
259. I was eating cherries last night, and got too tired.
260. My cat exploded in the kitchen and i had to clean up the mess
261. Your not gonna belive this ( bos: No I'm not . ) Fine then i'm not telling you
262. Had to fly to the moon b4 comming to work
263. couldn't find excuse # 260 , 261 and 262 that i wrote
264. I got drunk, passed out, and this morning I found a tattoo that says "I'M STUPID" on my forehead.
265. I was going to come in but my hand hurts and for some reason my penis fell off
266. I found out that your wife gives better head
267. I found out that your wife give better head
268. there were more excuse then last time in kellys' work excuse so i took me longer to read them all and pick one to give youthis morning ...
269. Well someone had to please your wife!
270. Your wife wouldn't let me try to find my pants.
271. THE DOG ATE THE KEYS....FOR REAL
272. CAUSE MELISSA IS MOVING
273. I tried to get off of your wife but I rolled over three times and I was still on top of her.
274. I've got eye problems. I can't see coming in to work!
275. Someone slipped something into my drink
277. my mother is back from the dead
278. Cause I won the lottery!!! Was gonna call in, but the pay phone wouldn't take a $100.00 dollar bill!!!
279. I didn't feel I could take the stress right after I had partied all night!
280. explosive diarrea
282. I'm Tired
283. About Laughed to death this morning reading Kelly's webpage.
284. I woke up with a bad hangover and married
285. i woke up on the beach this morning naked,and with a hang over. will have to wait till dark to sneak back home.
287. All of my armpit hair fell out, i was up late last night trying to find it all.
288. I was to busy deciding which excuse I was going to use today.
289. (gay men) we were coming home from vacation but we forgot to pack our shit the night before.
290. I'm horny
291. Tired from last night (got fucked)
292. My dog fucked my other dog and they have been stuck together to long
293. My dog and I are stuck together so I have to go to the hospital
294. If it is all the same to you I won't be in to work. The voices told me to clean all the guns today.
295. My mother-in-law has come back as one of the Undead we must track her to her coffin to drive a stake throught her heart and give her eternal peace. One day should do it.
296. I refuse to travel to my job in the District until there is a commuter tax. I insist on paying my fair share.
297. I had to clean the guns
298. The voices said to stay home
299. Who me? No i'm not disgruntled
300. Constapation would not let me off of the shitter
301. Had the runs, couldn't leave the shitter
302. I ran over an oyster shell, it flew up and broke my window.
303. Too busy reading 'Dave Barry.'
304. Got sucked into cyberspace. Again.
305. Girlfriend stabbed me in the leg
306. or boyfriend stabbed me in the leg (if your gay)
307. I am the first living brain donor!!!!!
308. I'm sorry the brain you have reached is not in service.
309. Dave?? Dave's not home, man!
310. Dave? What are you doing, Dave??
311. My Dog got ran over, had to take him to the vet
312. oh damn, I thought today was a holiday!
313. ummm uh, ummm oh yeah sorry
314. just didn't wanna
315. Your dog was too busy so I had to wait for your mom
316. Na I jest did that yesterday
317. I had to go up a half hour before I went to bed and work 29 hours in the coal mine and when I got home my mother and father would beat us to death, and then dance about our graves singing Hallelujah
318. IM STILL DRUNK YOU ASS-HOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
319. I work for the Post Office, what are you going to do about it!
320. I had to pay your wife last night so I could not pay bus fair
321. I had a run in with Mrs. Bobbit
322. I couldn't find my way out from undernieth your mom
323. Two words for you, I am Gay! Oops that is four.
324. I've got a good excuss, I'm a supervisor kid ok fag
325. Had to stop for more k-y jelly
326. Had to stop for more k-y jelly
327. I HATE LESTER B.
328. I GOT MY THINGY CAUGHT IN MY ZIPPER
329. I LEFT MY KEYS IN MY CAR WITH THE MOTOR RUNNING AND I COULDN'T GO ANYWHERE, MY CAR RUN ALL DAY & RUN OUT OF GAS.
330. Ten elephants from our local cirkus ran over my car.
331. Your wife forgot to wake me up!!!
332. I don' know.
333. I had to drop your wife off this morning, and got caught in rush hour on the way in.
334. Ear Infuction too much screwbadiving in the Pussyfic Ocean had to go to my Dicktors to get it Fingered out....
337. MY DICK NEARLY FELL OFF AFTER FUCKING YOUR WIFE ALL LAST NIGHT!!!!
338. YOUR SON GIVES A GREAT EARLY MORNING BLOW JOB!
339. YOUR MOM WOULDN'T BACK UP OFF MY NUTS, IM SURE YOU KNOW HOW THAT IS!!!!!!!!!
340. My dick was stuck in your wife's mouth, she said it was the biggest dick she's ever seen.
341. I did
342. I didn't have enough k-y jelly this morning with your wife, I had to stop on the way to work to pick some up then we had a little quickie in my back seat, SORRY!
344. I was having phone sex with your son while your husband's cock was entering my soaking wet tunnel of love and his rocks were banging against my lucious wet pussy lips!!
347. Next time....can I join whoever wrote 344...we will have to have a speaker phone so my rocks can bang on your chin!!
349. your dad got to me last night all through the morning!!! sorry i'll be a little late
350. you smell like shit boss!
351. Im still drunk, and seeing your face will make me puke
352. you cunt smells like tuna hoebag!
353. NO
354. I,VE GOT BLUE BALLS "BITCH" !!!!!!!!!
355. your a Fucker and I didn't want to
356. Bad case of explosive diarrea!
357. HAD SEX WITH YOU REMEMBER?
358. I lost my American Express Card and I can't leave home without it.
359. my dick got caught in my zipper while masterbating in the parking lot!
360. Have You stheen my Weenah!(Warren from Something About Mary)
361. Uh umm uh I've got leporsy OH SHIT MY ARM JUST FELL OFF!!!!
362. masturbating, at least i had fun
363. GETTING HEAD FOR BREAKFAST
365. couldnt be arsed
366. with your mom
367. goo
368. Rob Duncun is a gay faggot
369. I was fuckin your wife
370. Aliens are surrounding my house.
371. jdjdjdjhfjdhjfhdjdhjfhjdhjdfjhjfhjfhjdhfjdhfjhdfjdjfhjdhf
372. Man I will lick yo wrinkly ass pussy for 2 dolla
373. I did it with your sister
374. Ran over by a mad man with a roatavator and a 3070 massey
375. Had a wank. Could'nt find the tissues
376. What?
377. Your wife told me to saty in the closet until you left for work.
378. My goldfish has a vet appt.
379. I'm trianing for your job boss
380. have to go to the barber to have my eyes checked
381. I was fucking your wife
382. The misses had other ideas
383. Jonny was fucking Mindy, and someone had to keep then in line
384. You fucked my wife, thats what this guns' for.
385. I'll give you a BJ if you forget the whole thing
386. Your daughter wouldn't get off of my cock this morning.
387. The deaf man heard me flick him off & got pissed.
388. Your daughter wouldn't get off my face
389. MY DICK IS TOO BIG
390. MY DICK IS TOO BIG
391. MY DICK IS TOO BIG
392. Because you're (boss) a spineless jellyfish and I had to go golfing with your wife!
393. What do you mean YOUR at work? Your wife has had me in your closet for the last week telling me that you hadn't left yet!
394. I HAD TO SCREW YOUR WIFE !
395. I got my period
396. Did you ask me a question?
397. I THOUGHT WE WERE CLOSED TODAY
398. i was fuckin kellys mom and lost track of time!
399. the CHIEF MINISTER was passing by, traffic jam happened
400. I forgot my pager and had to go back to get it
401. I forgot my pager and had to go back to get it
402. I had an eye problem - can't see coming to work
403. I JUST HATE WORKING WITH YOU!!!!!
404. YOU SUCK!!!!!!!!111
405. I WAS AFRAID THAT I WOULD FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUY ALL OVER AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ( YEAH RIGHT NOT IN A MILLION YEARS............. I AM SO GOOD!!!!! AND HE/ SHE KNOWS IT...... LOL)
406. I CAN'T FIND MY CLOTHES. I AM SHURE IF I COULD FIND MY HOUSE I AM SHURE THEY ARE SOMEWHERE NEAR THERE
408. I was busy toasting to HONOR: get HON_HER and stay HON-HER.
409. I am feeling POSTAL!!!
410. Your son wanted me to play hooky
411. Sam was getting off with
412. Sam was getting off with Amy
413. My Brother Michael Got his di$% caught in his zipper
414. my dogs birthday I had to hand out the party hats
415. I was ill and fautiged(sickntired)of you
416. my electricity went out
417. i have the irish flu
418. i had a warrant out for my arrest over an unpaid parking ticket!!!!
419. i just don't like you
420. i had sex with sable off of wwf
421. i didn't have a beer lat night
422. I had sex HHH and Xpac last night off the wwf
423. AMNESIA
424. AMNESIA............WHO ARE U?
425. MY HUSBAND WENT INTO LABOR
426. MY HUSBAND WENT INTO LABOR
427. It's Monday? What the hell happened to Sunday?!?!
428. i forgot to pay the bill and i have no water
429. i have a job?
430. i was hardened in the jello mix. blame jenna shes the one who told me to get in it.
431. Was run over by a car while stumbling out of the bar with dorajean, who also got run over, so she won't be in work either.
432. Kurp says, "I was getting laid by your wife."
433. had to drive my drunk dog home
434. I had to loosen your wife up first
435. I had a dream I was there. I'm not , am I?
436. MY DICK GOT STUCK IN THE VACUME
437. I got my dick stuck in Harold my nsme is Lucas
438. I realized there were better things to do....like your wife.
439. i eat shit
441. I was trying to wash the smell off my dick from fucking your wife.
442. JUST LAZY
443. I FELT LIKE FUCKING YOUR MOM
444. work.. whats work??? I am from Oregon.. We have welfare
445. I DREAMT I WAS LATE, AND WOKE UP AND I WAS
446. PLEASE REMOVE THE VERY DIRTY EXCUSES - THEY TAKE THE FUN OUT OF READING THIS.
447. FORD WOULDN'T START
448. do u really need a reason....just dont do it!!!
449. i drive a honda with dual whips
450. i was thinking about you while i was masturbating
451. karmen was sucking my dick
452. i was getting butt fucked
453. for a good time call 1-800-fat-chick
455. robert saubert came by and wanted to give me head
456. sale kutte kameene haramee chute teree ma ko....
457. going to be late, still trying to get rid of your wife
458. My left nut swelled up to the size of a grapefruit (men only)
459. I am late because I was volunteering at my church and lost track of time.
460. You have Explosive Diarrhea
461. You Have Fire coming out of your ass (John Sczykutowicz)
462. I got sucked into the gravitational pull of Anna Guest
463. I got sucked into the gravitational pull of Anna Guest
464. i had to fuck your wife,and it took for ever
465. dead
466. allergic to the boss
467. wasn't interesting enough
468. there was football on t.v
469. the FBI has me under survelance
470. i was with Mary Jane
471. i would have come in to work, but i was sucking my boyfriend's big-ass dick
472. my dick got stuck in my girlfriends pussy
473. i was to busy getting my brains fucked out to bother......not my fault the best you can do is your cat
474. i fucked to hard last night and it was 1:00pm
476. my girlfriend woud'nt let me come to work because we were stranded on her bottomeless hole
477. I DID NOT WANT TO SEE YOUR UGLY FACE THIS EARLY IN MORNING
479. BECAUSE YOUR A BIG ASS MOTHER FUCKER THAT CAN'T GET A FUCKIN DATE SO FUCK YOU I QUIT
480. ""BITCH IN A HALF""
481. ""BITCH IN A HALF""
482. I was at the hospital, I woke up next to a really ugly girl and I had to chew my arm off because I didn't want to wake her.
483. I was shot and had to go to hospital
484. COS I WAS FUCKING THE CAT OK
485. Well I was with this girl right and she wanted to know whether or not i would like to lick her out! Well it was getting really later so i turned around and said Ok. So as i started to she screamed out and would not stop.... are you ok boss you have turned a funny colour! -SAC PRODUCTS
486. cos?
487. I was fucking you wife to hard and she tore!-SAC PRODUCTS
488. Oh! This is what you pay me for! I'll have to stop going to see your wife and daughter!-SAC PRODUCTS
489. because I GAY BLAIR was BANGING with my BOYFRIEND
491. because garry was putting his pork sword in his.
492. because garry was putting his pork sword in his.-
493. because garry was putting his pork sword in his.-
494. i was jerking off to much and my dick got so raw i couldn't walk
495. "Sorry i was late for work Sir" "I got my penis stuck in your daughters braces"
496. I was late because i got in a car accident while your wife was giving me a blow job
497. "SORRY i was late , I was masturbating and it took a little longer for me to CLIMAX"
498. "Sorry I'am Late, But I couldn't get my dick out of his ass till he calmed down and relaxed"
499. I was to busy writing a letter on how good of a boss you are (at Kelly's
500. Don't
501. Got my dick stuck up my ass
502. i had to cleen the jizz off my walls
503. Sorry I'm late but I could'nt get from under your bed till you'd gone to work!!!!!!!!!
504. Busy building plotting company take over, lost track of time.
505. I was to busy fuckin' my girl!!
506. I didn't feel like it 'cause my boss is a PRICK!
507. i plan just don't want to come to work today.
508. Caught my tongue in the beaters.
509. got lost in taren karr
510. I've been in confession.... for three and a half days!
511. I DONT KNOW
512. Would you believe that of all things I was driving down the road on my way here and this cop pulled me out of my car put me in theirs and took me to the station and stuck me in suckdown?
513. I DIDNT WANT TO
514. I was learning how to spell..
515. I GOT BUGS IN MY PUBES FROM YOUR NASTY DAUGHTER! WANNA SEE?!I SPENT ALL MORNING TRYING TO CLEAN THIS SHIT UP!
516. lost my dick
517. I thought my dick was injured! but when I got to the hospital they said it wasn't my blood! Tell your daughter to inform her sex partners when she is on the fuckin rag okay!!!
519. I got stoned and five girls rape me all night long
520. My Mom raped me slowley
521. I got blind cause I cummed in my eyes
522. I had to wipe my ass 7 times from that turd that broke off.
523. i had to put my wife.....uhhhh....ex-wifes body in the ocean
524. i was fucking melissa pignatellas tight pussy
525. call this number and say your pussy is tight then hang up 585-6928
526. i had to put my wife.....uhhhh....ex-wifes body in the ocean
527. Get a fucking life
528. You sad set of bastards
529. Your son was explaining to me how you molested him as a child.
531. i was waiting in your closet for you to leave
532. 524.i was fucking melissa pignatellas tight pussy
533. MY WILMOTH WAS DIRTY
534. MY WILMOTH WAS DIRTY
535. I try to be good hard working man but the refrigamater is too too messy
536. MY GIRLFRIENDS CAR WOULDN'T START
537. My dog was fucking me, ok !!!
538. I was busy fucking my sister up the ass. It was good. Want to see a picture of the event?
539. Du hast mich gefragt und ich habe nichts gesagt!
540. Amerikans suck, IRAQ RULES!
541. sorry but my wife had en epilectic fit and I had to hold her tongue!
542. i tripped and landed in your wifes pussy
543. i was bissy jackin off
544. my toe hurts
545. Her husband came home and i was hiding in the closet
546. Last night aliens probed my ass
547. I AM THE BOSS
548. if I don't want to worK then ANY EXCUSE WILL DO ASSHOLE
549. your gonna die bitch
550. do you work for UPS because i just saw you checking out my package
551. I was on a mission to destroy the death star
553. i was at greenguy's link-o-rama enough said
554. My deo-spray exploded, these morning and I`m lying in a koma
555. I sudently turned in to be from litauen
556. I was Drafted
557. I am the shit everyone e-mail me BchdBum@aol.com
559. wheres 558 asshole!!!
560. Why does it matter if I was at work or not? (JL)
561. I woke up dead this morning!
562. email me at shiiiiooot@hotmail.com. Why not? You're probly bored. (JL)
563. Got my dick slammed in the car door!
564. Fucking my grandma!!!!!!!!
565. My water broke and I couldnt find a napkin
566. Same shit different day bigger pile-why bother?
567. I woke up dead this morning!
568. Got my hand stuck in the cornflakes box while eating breakfast
569. Jesus, get off my back will you!?!
570. My dog died...and I can't get my dick out!!!
571. Cuz...i dont want to......?.....Piss Off!!!!
572. T dont felt like it
573. Because you fired me last week STUPID!
574. I won the lottery.
575. I won the lottery and you work for my now. You are fired!
576. I was here( in the restroom drinking beer)
577. I had cum in my eye and i could not see to drive
578. i was shaving my balls
579. I had to return a porno tape first
580. I had to break in my new bottle of lotion
581. I had half a chance with this chick i met, so i had to chase her around all day to see if i could get some pussy
582. I don't have a fucking job. I'm a lazy bastard shit ball!
583. because !!
584. works shit your shit fuck right off
585. too busy shaving your wife pussy
586. gaged on one of your wifes pussy hairs
587. your wifes arse was to tight and we had to go to the hospital
588. your wife gaged on my dick and i had to find somewhere to bury her :)
589. got my fist caught in your wifes arse
590. i had to clean up my car after the incident with your daughter last night
591. How? I am in Jail for cheating on the firm.
592. I ask: "Was soll das ?"
593. I forgot I still worked for you.
594. My dog ate your wife out.
595. My dick got stuck in my wife's pussy (men only)
596. My braces got stuck in pubes while I was having oral
597. i was fucking you mum when she got cramp and my dick is still stck in the fat bich!!
598. Caught pissing on side of the road, in jail
599. I accidently ate my car!
600. I was drawing a picture for my daughter when the dog ate her. So I have to go to a funeral.
601. Ég var að kúka í klósettið þegar stórt skrímsli kom upp og át mig.
602. Ég var að éta ömmu þína.
603. Eg var ad eta ommu thina.
604. I was shagging a sheep. Lady-sheep offcourse.
605. I was busy shagging
606. 595
607. I was raping your wife with a coke bottle
608. Shopping with Paul, cuz it was raining....weg
609. and btw, some of you guys need not explain to your boss why you are not there, I am sure they would prefer you not be. No loss....sheesh.......funny at first but with all good things, the weirdos catch on and ruin it.....sigh.......nuff said.......back to shop with my baby,...
610. and whoever Kelly is, rock on babes, this is too funny
611. I was reading all this shit on work excuses!
612. Huh? I'm what? No fuckin way dude!
613. I accidentally stepped in Rush Limbaugh's crack and got my foot stuck and had to call the fire dept. to extracate me!
614. 613
616. 56
617. Toll
618. pussy
620. 610
621. what?
622. hehehe
623. because your wife gave me crabs when i fucked her ass and pussy this morning
624. Your wife came over last night and forgot to untie me when she left.
625. I Fucked your wife so hard I killed her and then I spent the rest of the day buring her body and selling her kiddneys heart and lungs on the black market so I'm very sorry about being late
626. Got drunk and passed out.
627. I forget the time
628. I ve played my dick all over the night!
629. Pamela Anderson was sucking my dick!
630. I WAS WATCHEN A PORNO AND LOST ALL TRACK OF TIME
631. Could not find detachable boob
632. Too busy reading c.c's work excuses
633. I got held up with your wife and she wouldnt let me leave without blowing my load on her tits
634. My wife told me to stay home...she's the boss
635. My girlfriend had me arrested AFTER she beat me up.
636. You mother would not get off of me
637. My penis got stuck in a bottle
638. My penis got stuck in the sink
639. My penis got stuck in the refrigerator
640. My penis got stuck underneath the couch
641. My penis got stuck in a lemon
642. My penis got stuck in a vaseline jar
643. My penis got stuck in the car muffler
644. My penis got stuck in the drawer
645. My penis got stuck in an anthill
646. My penis got stuck in my mitten
647. Me penis got stuck between my toes
648. My penis got stuck in a bowl of ice cream
649. My penis got stuck in the hair dryer
650. My penis got stuck in my hand and I had to start stroking
651. Hey... (Eric Rackasa J.) My name's on the net.
652. Fell off the toilet while masturbating and hit my head on the sink and was knocked unconscious.
653. Eric is a moron! You can always blame Eric
654. Plastic Roxanne wanted me and Brian to stay in bed with her.
656. Justin got his head stuck in a lawn and leaf garbage bag
657. Brian's dick may be small, but it sure is skinny.
658. I had to wait for Justins mom to find his wiener so he could pee.
659. Someone was fucking my sister.
660. i was waiting for someone to have sex with this fat chick and I got stuck in the closet
661. i was waiting for someone to have sex with this fat chick and I got stuck in the closet
662. I was down stairs sleeping while my buddy was in the closet while fat girl was lying on the bed breathing hard.
663. I was gonna call in but my lips were stuck together from all the cum.
664. Too busy thinking about why this list is so fucking lame!
665. Too busy thinking about why this list was so fucking lame!
666. My cat got fuck and I had to kill her!!
667. My wife cought me by the tail
668. My wife cought me by the tail!!!
669. Because..........!
670. Stephanie Finlay is a fucking whore!
671. S.Finlay fucks chickens and then eats them!
672. Where is my Virginya? Where can she be? At Davids house?
673. Soy Español y no hablo Ingles, lo siento jefe.
674. Your daughter needed a ride to school , but we couldn't find her panties!
675. need to go and fuck the ball and chain
676. I lost my elbow yesterday.
677. i have to start using my sick days or i wont get paid for them
678. i'm tired of getting fucked in the ass at work so i decided to try it out at home instead
679. i believed the guy with the "the world will end today" sign and decided to blow off
680. i was still coming down off of my LSD trip and didnt want to ruin it by going to work
681. i can't work when im on dugs- doctors orders.
682. Was on my way when my arms fell off...
683. Had to chanfe out of my batman costume after fighting crime all night and could not find my real clothes
684. I was um er My bad
685. Thermo-Craft Sucks
686. I GOT SICK FROM SWALLOWING SO MUCH CUM AND WAS PUKING ALL NIGHT.
688. I got sick from swallowing so much cum and was puking all night.
689. I m filling the Head of my bong , cause i must get stoned ...
690. The ferrets got loose and we had to rack them down. We finally found them by the canal.
691. My Gerbil is lodged in my ass.
692. Dont have any more WEED!!, I'll have to find some more before i can come back to work!!
693. I quit
694. It's 4:20, work?, Hey Dude, Fire up that spliff alread...........................cough cough............
696. Take me Drunk Ocifer, Im home.
697. heheheheehe
698. Visit http://www.illegalserver.com for more!!
699. Suck my dick!
700. Oh my god!!! I have a job? Damn this sobriety!
701. i paid your wife $50 and you didn't want that to go to waist now did you
702. i was stuck to my keyboard
703. i have to get my dick sucked
704. i went to the dentist to get a hair cut
705. The doctor gave me a new medication and I fell asleep for three days.
706. hehehehe HELL!!!!!!!!!!!
707. eric amy dave tera taylor were here.thats our excuse
708. eric amy dave tera taylor *hi* /V\( .. )/V\
709. My dick is stuck in my vaccum cleaner.
710. I was beating off so much last night, it all solidified and now I'm stuck to my bed!
711. Caroline J. is trying to detain me.
712. You mean I work here
713. You mean I work here
714. I'am Calling Off Dead Today,Because I Used Up All My Sick Days
716. If I hear the cop tell the drunk he can go to the hospital or go to jail one more time I'll snap
717. The shit i smoked up last night was so good i had to take another toke this morning, then i ran out and had to make a day trip to get some more.
718. shit happens alot to me. feel sorry for me and let it go. will ya.
719. Had a lack of "giddy-up and GO" this morning.
720. The blood it won't come off, for the love of shit the blood won't come off
722. was bussy reading excuses so i could not go to work
723. "i'm not".....shut up guys..."er ah feeling">>>>>
724. "i'm not".....shut up guys..."er ah feeling">>>>>
725. "i'm not".....shut up guys..."er ah feeling">>>>>
726. That's my twin borther who's been coming in! You should fire him!
727. I've been called in by Ken Starr to testify in the Whitewater hearings
728. tried to suck my own cock and got a neck cramp
729. bussy reading crap on the net
730. Zorkon the space god made me stay to eat a poodle
731. Was Sucking My Own Dick And Got STUCK...
732. I think I have malaria.
733. My doctor told me to avoid fat and I thought he was talking about you.
734. ég er með standpínu
735. I was fisting your daughter and got a cramp
736. your wife has very strong legs, but anyway........
737. Vauva hukkasi tutin, joten se imi minua kunnes nukahti.
738. my asshole was on fire
739. because i read this b-shit
740. shoved my vibrator in me for the drive to work, and didn't want to stop driving!
741. had to help my cat to catch a mouse
742. I was Writing No Senses in May Computer
743. Forgot t wake up
744. Something on TV I wanted to watch
745. I did not want to work
746. My cat is in bed withs the dog
747. Spock fisted me!
748. Born to be free
749. What type of freedom
750. ASS HURT'S
751. didn't wanna go
752. im racist against everyone
753. im on house arrest for public display of nudity
754. i gto my period "men only"
756. You're just jealous that the little voices don't talk to you.
757. Sorry, Boss, I forgot my work boots under your bed lastnight.
758. Changing my kid's diaper.
759. fucking around on the internet now in hooked to thishit i quit GIIIIIIIIIIITCHHHHHHH
760. My penis itched
761. The voices told me to stay home and clean my guns.'You like guns, dont you? Well...DONT YOU...WHAT?>>>AAAARRRGGGHHH<<< Yeah, I'll be in soon.
764. I'll have to call you back , your wife wants me to come back to bed !
765. I was wrestling Jack Daniels , and lost ......
766. You thought I was kidding when I quit ?
767. Even your daughter says you suck in bed
768. Can not get the hamster out of my ass!!
769. Can not get the hamster out of my ass!!
770. I've had way too much LSD, and i have to stay home to remove the pink elephant from my loungeroom..
771. your mother and your sister say you suck in bed
772. theres something wrong with my eyes,I cant see coming in to work today
773. theres something wrong with my eyes, I cant see coming to work today
774. I did not want to work
775. My wife bit my cock off
776. I was too busy Jacking off at www.groove2000.com
777. got herman caught in my zipper
778. my sister nicola was shagging her b freind in my room couldent get out of the closet in time
779. jock my brother feet knocked me out all night that i could not tell what ime or day it was
780. got it stuck ina a pussy
782. I came in my eye
783. I was glarteb on the florr
784. Cum kept dripping down my legs when I stood up
785. Got Blue Balls
786. I was too busy cumming all over your daughter's face!
787. The rabbit ate my fucking carrot.
788. Because Jeff put on his sleaveless wife beaters' shirt and went nuts on Hogan's faggot ass. They had to be seperated before someone got their head ripped off and neck shit down.
789. My day has been to bad-- I woke up this morning and I wasnt in my own bed and I didnt know the guy beside me--when I got home I was lookin for my keys and realized I forgot to put my clothes back on (I dont know how that happend)--then I just could not find my pencil and when I finally did It was too late anyways...did I mention that I am a blond?
790. I farted and nuked this side of town
791. I need to shower first
792. Do I have too????????
793. I don't wanna kill you, and you don't wanna be dead.
794. I'm caught in a bear trap
795. Look I saw this chicken crossing the raod and just couldn't help myself...
796. Wanted to get you a surprise gift. Where is it?? Uh...wait right here, I'll go get it.
797. Got my leg blow off in Nam.
798. My mommy grounded me.
799. My wife cut off my dick.....................or
800. my husband sewed me shut
801. I'm pregnant.....
802. 801
803. fall and cant get up
804. my daddy was spanking me
805. lightining struck the transformer on my block and the electricity went out
806. i was reading the fucking excuse list!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
807. i was reading CC's excuse list
808. FUCKING BLUEBALLS!!!!!!!!
809. lightining struck the transformer on my block and the electricity went out
810. I thought the power was out. (it was at my house)
811. Was i supppose to be at work? I thought it was a holiday. The calendar was marked in red! Oppps sorry
812. Cause I'm a nig
813. Cause Gene a nig
814. got hit by a train
815. i was enthralled with watching the dog lick his balls
816. get your asses to work goddamnet im on wellfair
817. i was enthralled with watching the dog lick his balls
818. go to work damnet im on wellfair
819. go to work damnet im on wellfair
820. go to work damnet im on wellfair
821. Was too busy trying to think of a reason to stay home
822. My dog bite off my fucking balls
823. i throuhgt my back out ,i was busy humping your mom last night
824. I had a good fuck with a blonde college girl
825. no no
826. I'm to stoned!
827. My dick was severed by the motor in the Tickle Me Elmo doll.
828. two lesbens live nexdoor and i hav binoculars
829. simon walters is not circemcised
830. my elbow locked up jerking off
831. i don't want to work with that person
832. I had to take my mother to the hospital for her ingrown toenails
833. My Dick got stuck in my hand
834. I had to ride my motorcycle
836. fuck you bazil
837. Sorry, can't risk it, I'm in hiding still after blowing Jill Dando's head off.
838. Sorry, I was jerking off thinking of your mom
839. Rather do wild and crazy things with my spouse than work
840. Had sex so much I had to get my penis reattached.
841. Got such as big hard on from looking at your wife that I passed out and I just woke up.
843. Got such as big hard on from looking at your wife that I passed out and I just woke up.
845. MY PUSSY HURTS!!!!!!
846. BECAUSE I FUCK ED TO HARD RE TO 845
847. WHY SHOULD I SHOW UP ON TIME DWIGHT DOESN'T
848. I don't have to show up for work, I fucked the boss!
849. Why don't you just give me the money and let me do whatever I want, everyone knows the whole fucking Y2K problem will just fix itself.
850. -I did go to work, didnt you notice? (answer no)- AMAZING!!!
851. Have another JOB interview this morning, They want to double what your paying me, work less hours, sit in an office and play on the computer !!
852. I have an eye problem! I just can't see going to work today.
853. I spent all night looking for an excuss not to come in
854. Linda told me get that dress dry cleaned.
855. I fucked your dog last night.
856. My dick got stuck in your wifes mouth.
857. I called in dead
858. I was on a three week waiting list with your mom, and couldn't pass up the chance.
859. YOUR MAMMA
860. How would you know I was late? Jeff was sucking the calcium out of your bones!
861. I HAVE AN ENORMOUS THING N MY PANTS!!!!!!
862. HOW COULD YOU REALIZE I WAS LATE, TO BUSY TRYING TO FIND SOMEONE ELSES ASS TO KISS?!?!?
863. I HAVE A RAINBOW ON MY DICK, TELL YOUR WIFE TO STICK TO ONE SHADE OF LIP STICK
864. HOW COULD YOU KNOW IF I WAS LATE OR NOT, WIPE THE CUM OUTTA YOUR EYES AND PAY ATTENTION
865. i got castrated
866. im Jewish, I was to busy making another dradle
867. I choked on wipcream last night, that shit is harmful
868. The cops are raiding my house, looking for DONUTS!!!!
869. SORRY, i had to stop off at the crack house on my way in
870. RLV didn't wake me up.
871. i was fucking a crackwhore OH IM SORRY i meant your mama
872. I had to go the hospital, accidently sat on a wine bottle.
873. i couldn't get your wife off of my dick
874. i was watching a porno and something popped up
875. b/c this site is gay
876. nael is good
877. Aamulla olin pirtusta jurrissa
878. Poro on parasta ( Finland Vodka ) Frasier is Best !!
879. ate a bad clam! tell your wife to clean that shit!!!
880. ate a bad beaver
881. got lost in my girlfriends bush
882. my boyfriends more important then you are!!
883. my girlfriend leslie is more impotant then anyone i know
884. I am hideing from the cops in the woods because I did not see my proll officer this month.
885. Had to catch my brothers dog.
886. My assneck hurts to much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!you fucking jerk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
887. My hemroids hurt.
888. Got my dick stuck in a catup bottle it feels very good!
889. 888 is one sick fuck!!!!
890. Shot myself in the foot.
891. Had to poop.
892. Adding excuses to kellys list.
893. Adding this excuse to kellys list.
894. did not have any beer to get drunk on before i go to work cause this job sucks big fat harry dick you old dick head!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
895. Got a bonner.Do want to suck it.
896. Sucking 895s dick.
897. Sucking 895s dick.
898. Got carpit burns.
899. Got carpit burns.
900. Got carpit burns.
901. Got carpit burns.
902. Got carpit burns.
903. Got carpit burns.
904. Adding this excuse to kellys list.
905. i had to put the cut the doorman in pieces so he could fit into the refrigerator
906. I'M ON FIRE DOWN THERE, GOT ANY CREAM?
907. TOO BUSY EATIN' YOUR WIFE'S BALOON KNOT
908. TOO BUSY EATING CAMEL TOES.(PUSSY)
909. TOO BUSY EATING CAMEL TOES.(PUSSY)
910. i could not get up i had mornig wood
911. my dick got caught in my zipper and i got piss all over myself!!!
912. i'm a nympho and your duaghter visited me.
913. my pubes got caught in your daughters braces
914. Shit fuck
915. Fried the inside of my ass with a curling iron I was "playing" with.
916. Nuts are now permanently bald anfter I tried bleaching my pubes.
917. The "Golden Shower" got all over work clothes.
918. Had my stomache pumped. Eatin too much cum...
919. Because your wife's p---y stunk so bad, the board of health quarntined your house......
920. slept in you asshole
921. 147
922. Bad case of the shit`s with gas!!!!!
923. Video Taping Mike Giving out pearl necklaces
924. When I got to work, a roach tripped me and a rat took my wallet
925. PLAYING CIRCLE JERK !!!
926. Me and the guys in the backround of this page were laughing at how you must really think we give a rats azz if were late or not !
927. I'm sorry, you've mistakin me for someone who cares if they are late or not.
928. GO MIKE !!!!
929. I'm getting pussy therapy.
930. because Mike is the biggest ASSHOLE we know.
931. i was too busy reading the excuses for not going to work
932. the "crack" i was smok'in ...shit in my face
933. i lost my wedding-ring fuckin your mom...untill she bent-over and it fell out of her ass........
934. the cucumber i was using....molded!!!!!!!
935. I also make porn-movies and i couldnt get the sheep's feet out of my boot's
936. got my clit stuck in your husbands mouth!@#$$%**
937. come on "ice cream"....................
938. Bakfull !!
939. Procrastination is my middle name!
941. I got stuck in mail on my WebTV!
942. I was too busy playing with a page at: http://www.kellys.com//excuse.html
943. I was too busy playing witha page at http--www-kellys-com--excuse-html !!
944. I was too busy playing with a page at kellys dot com excuse dot html, ya know?
945. Cause I was playing with this here page!
946. Visit http://www.kellys.com//excuse.html for more!!
947. No, visit here: http://community-1.webtv.net/ProfMarvel/ !!!
948. 101
949. I was at work...I was just smoking crack while fucking my secretary up the ass!!!!
950. i were everyone knows what we have you herd about all the time i just kidding when the bug why was this dead guy letting me strange things drive the foggy shirt was stained cats are my getting into love is what you tried to hats are green gold is like stuff is free....
951. I was fucking my Jar Jar binks doll
952. I got stuck in Dave's ass
953. I went out for lunch with Lloyd and Jim
954. I went out for lunch with Lloyd and Jim
955. I went out for lunch with Lloyd and Jim
956. my dick got stuck in my poodle
957. my dick got stuck in my zipper
958. my dick got stuck in Todd's poodle mmmmmmmmmmmm poodle-- I gotta go now.
959. Dave's ass was blocking out the sun and I thought it was still nite time
960. couldn't get Rob's dick out of my poodle
961. Rob won't leave my fucking poodle alone!!!!
962. I'm staying at home from work so I can keep adding excuses to this page and end up being the 1000th excuse maker!
963. I just wasted a whole day reading these stupid excuses
964. I am the shit everyone e-mail me BchdBum@aol.com
965. I am the shit everyone e-mail me BchdBum@aol.com
966. I am the shit everyone e-mail me BchdBum@aol.com
967. I am the shit everyone e-mail me BchdBum@aol.com
968. I am the shit everyone e-mail me BchdBum@aol.com
969. I am the shit everyone e-mail me BchdBum@aol.com
970. I am the shit everyone e-mail me BchdBum@aol.com
971. I am the shit everyone e-mail me BchdBum@aol.com
972. I am the shit everyone e-mail me BchdBum@aol.com
973. I am the shit everyone e-mail me BchdBum@aol.com
974. I am the shit everyone e-mail me BchdBum@aol.com
975. I am the shit everyone e-mail me BchdBum@aol.com
976. I am the shit everyone e-mail me BchdBum@aol.com
977. I am the shit everyone e-mail me BchdBum@aol.com
978. I am the shit everyone e-mail me BchdBum@aol.com
979. I am the shit everyone e-mail me BchdBum@aol.com
980. I am the shit everyone e-mail me BchdBum@aol.com
981. I am the shit everyone e-mail me BchdBum@aol.com
982. I am the shit everyone e-mail me BchdBum@aol.com
983. I am the shit everyone e-mail me BchdBum@aol.com
984. I am the shit everyone e-mail me BchdBum@aol.com
985. I am the shit everyone e-mail me BchdBum@aol.com
986. I am the shit everyone e-mail me BchdBum@aol.com
987. I am the shit everyone e-mail me BchdBum@aol.com
988. I am the shit everyone e-mail me BchdBum@aol.com
989. I am the shit everyone e-mail me BchdBum@aol.com
990. I am the shit everyone e-mail me BchdBum@aol.com
991. I am the shit everyone e-mail me BchdBum@aol.com
992. I am the shit everyone e-mail me BchdBum@aol.com
993. I am the shit everyone e-mail me BchdBum@aol.com
994. I am the shit everyone e-mail me BchdBum@aol.com
995. I am the shit everyone e-mail me BchdBum@aol.com
996. I am the shit everyone e-mail me BchdBum@aol.com
997. I am the shit everyone e-mail me BchdBum@aol.com
998. I am the shit everyone e-mail me BchdBum@aol.com
999. I am the shit everyone e-mail me BchdBum@aol.com
1000. BchdBum@aol.com GOT 1000 so e-mail me send me a pics of your ass you fools all of you hahahahahahahahaha I GOT 1000 damnit this took me forever so bow down to the top BUM hahahahaha
1001. I WAS KICKIN THE SHIT OUT OF THE LOSER WHO TYPED THE SAME FUCKIN THING 36 TIMES
1002. I had my wifes foot up my ass
1003. Tequila sunrise!!!!!!!!!!! with that stripper I met last night
1004. I went blind ,cause I just couldn,t see working "The Next Day!"
1005. It was too cramped under the desk and i fell asleep. (Secrateries)
1006. I was busy copying the files off of the computer I sent a virus to at BchdBum@aol.com. (Dumbass!)
1007. i just don't give a f@ck!!!!
1008. I WUZ ON A MUTHERFUCKING PAPER CHASE
1009. Couldn't help lookin at those Pictures, Mr. President.
1010. Um..well sir...you know our little spanky?...well he's BACK!!!
1012. Ha ha...a trick Question...i get it...hahaha
1013. My dick was stuck in the hole in the pool
1014. Well I was up all night lookin at this "cool" site...
1015. my bitch was tongin my ass and shit slipped out
1016. http://hello.to/toxic_suicide
1017. I was busy butt fukin BchdBum@aol.com
1018. This is really lame
1019. I was hittin a lick
1020. I was fuckin Mary
1021. fuck all you "dumb mother fuckers....punk!!!"
1023. Because I went out with chille last night
1024. I went out with chille last night
1025. I was really, really, really piss drunk
1026. I dreamed I was already at work
1027. i was sucking my mans my own dick and it felt good!!!!
1028. I CUT MY PUSSY SHAVING IT!
1029. OH THAT'S RIGHT.......I DON'T HAVE A PUSSY IT MUST HAVE BEEN YOUR MOMS!
1030. i was reading all of these un-creative excuses.
1032. well i figured that you would bitch half the day anyway, so i decided to save you some time.
1033. I already did
1034. Just don't fucking ask.........
1035. I said don't......
1036. I am full of shit Everyone email me BchdBum@aol.com
1037. Your right.....HE is full of SHIT,,,and himself....
1038. He's a genuine cocksucker....
1039. I think hes a sweetie.....a dipshit but a sweetie......
1040. my vagina burst, my rectum is the next to go
1041. My horse got cought in a barbed wire fence and I had to bury him
1042. i was sucking your moms dick
1043. I was at the police station
1044. my foreskin got caught in your moms teeth
1045. i anally raped your budgie and i got stuck..
1046. your mom sewed my asshole up and kept feedin me and feedin me......
1047. your mom sewed my asshole shut and kept feedin me and feedin me....
1048. cause I'm playing with myself and letting my dog lick my pussy.
1049. cause I'm playing with myself and letting my dog lick my pussy.
1050. cause I'm playing with myself and letting my dog lick my pussy.
1051. cause I'm playing with myself and letting my dog lick my pussy.
1052. cause I'm playing with myself and letting my dog lick my pussy.
1053. cause I'm playing with myself and letting my dog lick my pussy.
1054. cause I'm playing with myself and letting my dog lick my pussy.
1055. cause I'm playing with myself and letting my dog lick my pussy.
1056. cause I'm playing with myself and letting my dog lick my pussy.
1057. cause I'm playing with myself and letting my dog lick my pussy.
1058. cause I'm playing with myself and letting my dog lick my pussy.
1059. cause I'm playing with myself and letting my dog lick my pussy.
1060. cause I'm playing with myself and letting my dog lick my pussy.
1061. I dropped my joint in the gas I was huffing and I caught Minister Bob's naked ass on fire. Of course the gimp costume I had on saved me from those crazy third degree burns. That and you're an asshole
1062. Spent the night partying. Introduced my husbands friend and my friend to eachother. I wasn't too late.
1063. Your daughter gave me head and im still busy pulling the sheets out of my ass
1064. My vibrator broke and i had to wait for the spin cycle
1065. this sucks
1066. Go Fuck Myself? How many times do I have to tell you? I CANT turn around Fast enough!
1068. this site was bugging me so i had to stop and post
1069. this is the lamesf fucking thing full of lame jobbers who are preoccupied with fucking their dogs, their bosses, their bosses wives, their bosses dogs and so on....
1070. Because I don't give a RAT'S-ASS about my job
1071. got beer
1072. I DONT PECK INGLES YO ABLO ESPANOL
1073. I WANT A SEX BABY YEA BABY in my work dont sex-girl
1074. http://www.ampland.com/mmpage.html
1075. my bud ice bottle got stuck inside my girlfriend
1077. you shagged me so hard, almost blew my head off... so i had to come in sick with a headache
1078. well... um...yea...ah yes.. well did you hear about the time that I F*$%^d you mother and your father..... oh no not you're father no no it was your sister in law!
1080. who is looking at this page right now?
1081. who is looking at this page right now?
1082. som gay wanker!!!
1083. uhhhhhhhhhhhh..........
1084. i would've made it on time..but i had to finish my boinky with my cyber pal
1085. This one is for if you get caught sleeping at your desk................... Say this............. In Jesus heavenly name "Amen"
1086. I am late? Are you sure?
1087. IM AL HERMAN, IM ALWAYS LATE
1089. I was busy reading 1088 excuses BUT I FORGET THEM ALL!
1090. My dick got caught in an electric pencil sharpener
1091. Lost track of time watching the spice channel, got a f****** problem with that!?!?!?!
1092. I went through 12 cases of Mountain Dew last night and I have to piss every 5 minutes
1093. I was programming all last night I am too tired to work
1094. Too busy hacking into your corporation's computer
1095. i used super glue as a lube and got my hand stuck to my dick
1096. Jonathon Kitchens fucked my car last night the oil reservoir was clogged
1097. Fucked a whore and my dick fell off
1098. Went to see wicked GnR tribute band, moshed good and proper, got fucked, went home, smoked until i could see no more, got fucked so can't work now, am too fucked.
1099. haahaahaahaahaahaahaahaahaa
1100. I had Open Heart Surgery.
1101. Walking out the door and my dick got caught
1102. having a two handed shandy and stained my flares.
1103. enlarger go stuck
1104. my balls fell off
1105. dildo got stuck in my ear
1106. I SPENT ALL NIGHT READING THIS FUCKING PAGE AND I'M STILL NOT FINISHED!!!!!!!!!1
1107. i got an potatoe in my eye
1108. Franco was an ugly shithead from L-town
1109. was watching Dave Evanoff getting but raped
1110. was butt raping dave
1111. wa getting rim job from above
1112. If my wife hadn't of called my girl friends house I wouldn't have been here at all!!!
1113. I WORK AT ECM.WHAT ELSE CAN I SAY!
1114. I quit
1115. [on phone] Well boss, I uh, umm.. [ "Take that MOTHERFUCKER!"] Oh shit a drive-by!*BANG! BANG! BANG!* Oww, I'm dead. *plop*
1116. used a loaded .357 Smith&Wesson as an ass dildo...
1117. MY ALARM COCK WENT OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!
1118. Tenia que cojer a su madre....
1119. I'm Batman
1122. I was commissioned to take the day off so i could save the world from evil
1123. honest, i really did get commissioned boss!!!
1124. NO! YOU CAN'T FIRE ME YOU SON OF A BITCH!
1125. You can't fire me i quit you dick
1126. you interrupted my storyline dammit, no fair
1127. anyways, it is me, Insaneman who said the evil thing, just in case anyone comes here from my site
1128. I forgot how to work
1129. http://www.angelfire.com/ca2/theinsanerealm2/index.html sign the guestbook, its worth it
1130. I was busy having an orgy with your wife, mom, daughter, and sister
1131. I had some problems with a weedwacker, cool whip, and a chicken. I'll explain tommorrow
1132. uhhhhhhhhhhhh.........duh bye!
1133. Damn i need to get call id
1134. Give me directions and i'll be there tommorrow
1135. Huh what
1136. Huh what!!!!! SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU DAMN KIDS I CAN'T HEAR MY BOSS FUSS ME OUT ABOUT TAKING THE DAY OFF!!! I'LL CHANGE YOUR DIAPER LATER DAMN IT!!! Okay you were saying?
1137. dnfdhdgfkhgsdkhghgfkhgfihhdgr
1138. because i have to wait a coulple of days till my sifilous clears up
1139. Fuck It!
1140. CAUSE CISCO IS THE MAN AND HE MAKES THE RULES NOT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!
1141. A BUNCH OF VATO LOCOS JUST KICKED MY ASS
1142. VATOS TOLD ME TO SLANG INSTEAD
1147. I lick my mommy
1148. well my job at chip-n-dale's is interferring with my day job
1149. wife died ,kids in jail ,got tattooed take your pick
1150. Your Wife told me her Plumbing was clogged
1151. DONT LIKE WORKING WITH BRIAN RUDATIS
1152. BECAUSE HE IS ALWAYS PISSED OFF
1153. I was horny and I was afraid I might rape you if I came to work
1154. ate rock candy, got explosive diarrhea bent over and shot my parrot
1155. Got my hand caught in JFK jnr's pants
1156. The wanking was to hard!!
1157. hi mum
1158. i kill my mother... sorry..
1159. woke up.... let an 12 second 4 octave fart....then passed out
1160. the cabbie was better than you so i work for him now
1161. zzz. zzz.... zz... z... zzz...... zz.... zzzz... zz.... zz.... zzz... zz.. zzzz....
1162. can't come to work today... too busy spitting tic tac's at my hostage
1163. my beer belly is stuck in a hula-hoop
1164. I'm already at work. This is a recording. BEEP
1165. I'm trapped under a pink elephant
1166. I'v efallen and I cant get up
1167. I went after the dime I dropped in the toilet, and now my hands stuck
1168. I was too excited to work, so I had to write a country song, and now I'm too depressed
1169. I'm playing atari
1170. wife needed the fan belt for her girdle
1171. I cashed in my 2 million stock options on my internet site after it went public today
1172. I'm trapped in a Bewitched rerun
1173. I'm hiding in the witness protection program
1174. 77.
1175. i drive a ford, understand?
1176. I was coughing up hairballs in a PUBIC restroom!!!!!!!!!
1177. my legless parrot popped a boner and fell off his perch
1178. i was changing the newspaper in my legless parrots cage
1179. and his boner gave me a black eye
1180. monica lewinsky gave my legless parrot a b.j. and his head fell off
1181. 8zuzu
1182. i was too busy fucking!
1183. i was looking for jfk jr.'s body
1184. WHO REALLY GIVES A FUCK ABOUT JFK JNR ?????
1185. Handcuffs, your wife, a four poster bed, and whipped cream. Any questions?
1186. No, you see, I've been UNDER a desk this whole time.
1187. I thought you wouldnt mind!
1188. went to germany for octoberfest, was sitting at a table drinking beer, when i saw an old girlfriend. i got up to say hello, and i stepped on the toe of a skinhead. 4 skinheads chased me out of the beer hall into the street. there was a parade going down the street, and i crossed the parade and ran down a alley. a woman said whats the matter and when i told her she took me inside of her coat store. she brought me into her basement where it had a party going on. so i started to drink with her and she said it really was a hore house. so i said whatthe hell, and paid 200 bucks for the kinkyest sex i have ever had. my asshole still hurts.
1189. I woke up & it hit me I was sick(my wife was horny
1190. My Shower Was Too Hot, and I Passed Out
1191. I got locked in my house (blonde would say)
1192. Ask me again and I'll have your soul!!!
1193. Didn,t want to look at your fucking face
1194. uuuhhhhhh don,t know
1195. I GOT LOST ON THE WAY TO WORK
1196. i enjoyed the flic with Tommy Lee and Pamila Anderson Lee
1197. Got smoked up.
1198. I overslept cuz my rooster didn't crow.
1199. I died last night!!!!
1200. fuck not
1201. I could not find my way to work
1202. i need user & pass for groove2000
1203. I will late today as I have a birthday party to go to !
1204. mY grandmother was sick.
1205. mY grandmother was sick.
1206. You should know, I was with you.
1207. hi
1208. im kamming from austria
1209. its a against my beliefs to work
1210. I was temporarily allergic to the shit I have to put up with at work
1211. i went to shit and the hogs ate me
1212. i shoved toothpaste in my ass and brushed my teeth with hemroid cream
1213. I was to Stoned
1214. Jock C did 1213
1215. if i suck your cock will u let me have the day off since this morningi fucked you sister????!!
1216. if i suck your cock will u let me have the day off since this morningi fucked you sister????!!
1218. fuck me then let my leave
1219. Work??? You expect Shin Akuma to WORK!!!!!
1220. Swallowed my toothbrush
1221. Swallowed my toothbrush
1222. Swallowed my legs
1223. I LIKE TO SUCK MY AUNT'S FEET
1224. I am on time your clock is just set too fast
1225. i have a boner and it wont go down.
1226. this is kyle
1227. had a heart attack and died
1228. I got hooked on some new shit at kelly's bar J.C
1231. My penis keeps dragging on the ground
1232. i am at work, youve called my work phone.
1233. kill me,please, before...AHHHHHH!!!!
1234. b..b...b...but....i...i....h....h...ave....a....s...ss...t.a..mmer....a...a.nd....i....(hang up)
1235. i told all tha ppl at kellys my e mail so id get weird ppl e mailin me aload of stuff....(RogueLioness@hotmail.com) oh an hey ash182 if ur readin this....an number 1232- 1235 were all done by me!!! wwwwoooo yeah ok e mail me now...blah!!!
1236. yet again blah...me bored...need fooood...*drule* ok ill calm down!! mmmmm sausages.....hehehe ne who...blah!
1237. Having a bad hair day
1238. Having a bad hair day
1239. Too Wasted
1241. Just tried to kill myself
1242. Busy having an orgie with your wife and daughter
1243. To busy piercing my cock
1244. To busy trying to take out a rib to geve myself a blow job
1245. Had Breat implants and i'm pregnant
1246. dope
1247. Iicking peoples asses all over town and they all really really LOVE IT MORE THAN I DO!!
1248. Licking peoples asses all over town and they all really really LOVE IT MORE THAN I DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1249. O
1250. I've had so MANY guy's tugging my tits I ahve an apointment to get them back on(Women only)
1251. have***
1254. My coat got stuck in the garage door opener and I couldn't get down until my Mom got back from the farm.
1255. I got lost in my beer mug
1256. yeah i dont got time to go home
1257. I got cot with your mom in the can and youir dad was mad
1258. I pooped on the floor
1259. I got lov=cked in a bathroom stall
1260. I got locked in a bathroom stall
1261. Trent Mills Is a Gay Baster
1262. The World Has Gone to Hell And SO Has This Business
1263. The World Has Gone TO Hell and so has this business
1264. The World Has gone to shit and so has this BUSINESS
1265. The World Has Gone to Hell And SO Has This Business
1266. saveoncigaretteZ.com
1268. BOB DIDN'T PICK ME UP.
1270. I HAD SEX AT WORK
1271. my dog raped me in the ass
1272. i caught herpes from the dog
1273. the cat WAS fun
1274. i was to busy LOOKIN at DUMB jokes on net
1275. i prayed about it and GOD told me not to work
1277. Kellys a fag
1278. Don't you relise you've got a female name
1279. You are....
1280. my mother is a hot bitch
1281. something came up
1282. i was searching one in kelly's site !
1283. fuck me hard
1284. mail in rebates are bullshit !!!!!!!!!
1285. SHUT UP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1286. So !
1287. yay! excuse no 1287!
1288. and 1288!
1289. 3 in a row!
1290. hi mum!
1291. I was in the middle of a blowjob
1292. Too busy watching Brady Bunch reruns!
1293. Gave a b.j. to B.H.
1294. im sucking a guys cock at the moment oh! now hes getting me up the ass (mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm thats soooo good)!!!
1295. i am workink @ ram & mcrae
1296. i wasnt late im early for tomarrow
1297. i told clinton to stop but he wouldnt listen
1298. my corner was busy last night, so i slept in.
1299. A telephone pole hit my car
1300. I ran out of beer and refuse to work without a buzz.
1301. I was trying to cook for my girlfriend, but the microwave blew up and she lost her right foot.
1302. I was pulled over and told the cop, "I swear to drunk I'm not god!!!" and took me in for some reason.
1303. I was at work but how do I know you were?
1304. i tried waxing my testicles and burnt them
1305. i was shaggin someone
1306. i was shaggin someone
1308. WISE UP DICKHEAD.WORK? WOT THE FUCK IS WORK?
1309. AN EXCUSE? DO I NEED 1 OF THEM 4 NOT COMING IN2 WORK
1310. she snored during sex
1311. ...But when I woke up next to the boss this morning he said it would be okay if I skipped work to stay with him in bed all day!!!
1312. the roof caved in from the rain
1313. my foot got stuck in the snow
1314. had diarria
1315. i got the blonde next door to open my door
1316. forgot to pay the prostitute
1317. went to my gf's house and never came back
1318. I HD TO GO POO POO.........MAJORLY
1319. if any 1 has read ne of these damn u have to much time on ur hands
1320. My name is Mealworm = Richie
1321. My name is Sonata
1322. my name is Arvin= Tapeworm
1323. my name is Arvin= Tapeworm
1324. My name is Sonata =slipperyworm
1325. my name is mike=bookworm
1326. the worms had an orgy
1327. im a little tied up at the moment (tied to bed post)
1328. IJOINED THE ARMY!
1329. Stayed at home to watch WWF... WOOPS! I meant WWE!!!
1330. i come fron inglewood
1331. i quit?
1332. inglewood, inglewood always up to no gooood...
1333. inglewood, inglewood always up to no goood...
1334. NOT TODAY!!!! IM JUST TOO TIRED
1335. MY CAR KEYS WOULD NOT START THE CAR
1336. GOD I THOUGHT I JUST HAD TO GO 1 DAY!!!!!
1337. I KNOW I STARTED YESTERDAY BUT I WAS JUST WONDERING IF I CAN SHE MY VACATION STARTING TODAY
1338. i'm dead
1339. you killed me and fuck you ass whole
1340. my balls are to big
1341. i couldnt fit threw the door cause your wife is a whore
1343. i had too much sex wid ur wife i fell sick
1344. cut my penis
1345. well i ate to much of your sisters pussy
1346. i think your daughters pussy was infected and now i am not fellin well
1347. i think your daughters pussy was infected and now i am not fellin well
1348. i came down with the turkish flu virus that affects the circulation in my legs
1349. I zipped my dick in my fly
1350. My Young son accidentally dropped the toilet seat on his dick and told me to kiss it and make it better
1351. My wife asked me "is that stuff from you or me" and it made me so sick i rode the porcelin bus for 8 hours
1352. My lizard ate out my wife so i had to flush him, and my toilet got clogged so i had to call the plumber, wait for him to get there and then explain the whole story to him
1353. My wife said that she wanted a hotdog to eat, so while she went to the kitchen, i whipped out my cock. she came back, put ketchup on it and bit the head off!
1354. my horse had a baby elephant
1355. 1349
1356. i have a really angry mother so i had to let her yell at me
1357. I was too busy deciding if i'm a homo or not.
1359. I slept in.
1360. I dropped my soap
1361. shibby
1362. MY DICK GOT STUCK IN THE HOT TUB!!!!!!!
1363. I had to take Allen Iverson To School
1364. 5
1365. I had to take a big shit and got lost in the process
1366. My boyfriend left me for his friend ben so they could fuck in the ass because I wouldn't let him. I'm so shaken right now. I can't work properly.
1367. I Needed A Wank
1368. My blonde wife couldn't let me go
1369. My blonde wife couldn't let me go
1370. My penis got caught in an elevator door.
1371. some body fuck me
1372. some body fuck me
1373. I AM TOO HAIRY (NO JK)
1374. I AM TOO OLD FOR VIAGRA!!! (I AM JUST GOT OUT OF MY MOM'S WOMB)
1375. I HEARD JASON HAS BITCH TITIES, I SAW THEM.
1376. I GOT A HOT DOG STUCK IN MY COOCH, CHICAGO STYLE, WITH KETCHUP
1377. A GUY ATE MY ALARM CLOCK, AND SHIT IT OUT
1378. I ATE A GIRL OUT WHILE ON HER PERIOD, AND GOT SOME COTTON WITH BLOOD STUCK IN MY MOLARS.
1379. I WAS WATCHING BONES SHIT IN HIS PANTS
1380. ======D-- (my real life dick)
1381. i like throwing midgets in bucket during breakfast
1382. I was fucken your daughter's at the same time
1383. I was fucken your daughter's at the same time, biatch
1384. because i forgot to shave my bold ass motherfucking head last night, so i had your hot daughter's do it for me. bd
1385. I was fucken your daughter's at the same time, biatch
1386. because i forgot to shave my bold ass motherfucking haed last night, so i had your hot ass daghter's do it for me. bd
1387. Got SARS!
1388. because i'm tierd
1389. still having sex
1390. super glued my fingers up my ass!!
1391. broke my nail!!!(wemon only)
1392. cat got SARS
1393. I fractured my brain
1394. i have diarrea
1395. Abducted by aliens- Prove i didnt!
1396. i had the shits!
1397. i got my dick stuck in the vacume cleaner
1398. i was havin tea and crumpets with bin laden
1399. i wacthing aq porno with sadham and binladen going down on each other
1400. i seen my dad having sex with our dog
1401. my mum doesn't shave
1402. I STAYED OVER AT MICHEAL JAKSONS HOUSE AND I HAD A SAW ASS SO I COULDN'T WALK OR SIT DOWN.
1404. i'm d boss so i dont needed a excuses!
1405. i had to have my dick reduction today
1406. i was looking at your daughtes porn picks
1407. i was looking at your daughtes porn picks
1408. I look to good to work
1409. Lesbians don't work we lick!!!!!!!
1410. GOT STRUCK BY LIGHTNING
1411. I forgot where i worked
1412. GOT STRUCK BY LIGHTNING
1413. my toe hurts
1414. i got a bone in my leg
1415. I put a bomb under your phone. it will explode when you hang up!
1416. Ran out of gas half way there, had to come back home for money!
1417. Your wife pays me more per hour then you do! I work for her now!
1418. How did you get this number?! I'm gonna fuck you up!
1419. Are you threatening me?
1420. Hello? uh... Leave a msg after the beep .. beep.
1421. The colors, man.. the colors....
1422. I had to visit your daughter in the hospital this morning...(only for men)
1423. i got a little sick last night after seeing your old wife naked. (no one wants to see the devil)
1424. hable esponalo?
1425. my donkey ran away so i had to go out and get myself an ass!!!
1426. JACK AND JILL CAME ROUND TO USE MY BUCKET, JILL FELL IN AND JACKS HAVIN TO LOOK INSIDE ME 4 HER NOW!
1427. i broke my arm when i fell over whilst chasing my pen when it ran out
1428. my dogs having surgery, ive got my penis stuck inside him
1429. I WOZ CLEANING MY ROOM, HOOVERS ROCK!!!
1430. god told me i had to pray today
1431. I have a job!!??
1432. I'm just late ok! Get over it!!!
1433. I got drunk at Kelly's and woke up in China!
1434. My Wifes away, and I got some girl I want to screw!
1435. cause yur gay
1436. cause this website is gay
1437. cause i pooped in my pants
1438. POOP!!!
1439. I don't give a shit if you get mad
1440. My we-we and bum-bum hurts, that's all you need to know.
1441. do you feel the same way about me as i feel about your mom
1442. i was stuck in my mom's basement reading comics and beating it to cat woman... o.k. robin. I can't help it i just love those tights on him
1443. god i love you
1444. flying monkeys
1445. crabs
1446. don't you just love my new leather pants (dudes only)
1447. amish on the road, need i say more
1448. should this (name any small object around you) make me horny
1449. maby i'm late but your a poopie head
1450. stop yelling at me homophobe. GAY PRIDE! ( then turn around and walk out)
1451. on tour with the chillie peppers, I'm what you might call their sock boy
1452. JIM HALL AND C.J. COOPER ARE FLAMING FAGS AND THEY DESERVE TO HAVE ANOTHER ASS KICKING JUST LIKE I (TED WISE) ALREADY DID TO JIM THEN THAT LITTLE PRICK TOLD ON ME AND I GOT SUSPENDED WHILE HE FUCKED HIS FATHER. THEY SHOULD BE KILLED A.S.A.P. DEATH TO HIPPIES. rEMEMBER BOYS AND GIRLS JIM HALL (WESTMINSTER HIGH, MD)LIKES TO LICK THE BIG COCKS
1453. AND ANOTHER THING ABOUT JIM HIS "FRIENDS" AS HE CALLS THEM PUT HIM IN A TRUNK AND DROVE OVER SPEED BUMPS FOR A WHILE THEN THEY JUST HIT HIM AND MAKE FUN OF HIM ALL THE TIME. NOW I'M NO DR.PHILL, BUT I PERSONALLY WOULDEN'T CALL THESE PEOPLE FRIENDS, BUT THESE ARE THE ONLY FRIENDS HE'S GOT, IN THWE WHOLE SCHOOL. THAT'S HOW BIG OF A FAGGOT HE IS. HIPPIES ARE GAY. (JUST THOUGHT I'D ADD THAT) AND REMEMBER JIM HALL, PENIS-LICKER. IF YOU THINK YOU KNOW HIM HIS YEAR BOOK PIC WOULD BE UNDER JAMES 2003 IF YOU KNOW HIM SPIT ON HIM IT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO
1454. IT TURNS OT JIM HALL LICKS DICKS FOR DOLLARS SO IGOT THREE OF THOOSE
1455. penis failure
1456. penis failure
1459. my dog ate my homework
1460. saw my ex wife
1461. i shit myself, had to change my underwear
1462. couldn't find my car
1463. locked myself in my house (i am blonde)
1464. I slipped in the bathroom(Chynna only)
1465. My house got stolen( Chynna only)
1466. My house got stolen( Chynna only)
1467. Chynna was using pinky
1468. Chynna was using pinky
1469. Arnold had sex with Chynna
1470. my shopping cart wheel broke(chynna only)
1471. My box(home) couldn't roll fast enough(chynna only)
1472. too busy buying excuser 1001 a drink
1473. You're right, I'm a shit, so sue me. I never liked you anyway.
1474. I forgot to set the VCR, so I went back to watch the show.
1475. Are you looking for a fight? Ay? Are ya? Well??
1476. i was following the rainbow
1477. I was fuckin you mom
1478. your*
1479. LOCKED IN MY CAR
1480. the clock on the VCR said i was early
1481. Yo Mama!
1482. cunt whore
1483. Cum Dumpster
1484. well...you sucked at being fucked!
1485. pussy
1486. the porn you wanted took to long to download
1487. Du Sprechen sie deutch
1488. Du sprechen sie deutch
1489. My disgusting cunt was being stretched by the presence of a massive nigger's massive black cock
1490. I had to watch my whore drain the cum from 20 ballbags in 10 seconds
1491. I'm Blonde give me a break!
1492. the herpes
1493. orgy
1494. I was sucking my own dick and broke my neck
1495. Wombles Jumped Me
1496. I got squashed by a Drop Bear
1497. I was doing your dad!
1498. because fuck u asshole
1499. u yes u
1500. u yes u
1501. no fuck not u
1502. because 1501 dickheads kept me back
1503. Uhhhh....... I had uhhhh.... I was fixed???
1504. whoa mama yo mama
1505. got stuck in fefe
1506. well i got hit in the head with a medal dildo by some arab... lala ala a a alala aababa a ababa a abab
1507. suck some cock.. i hate you
1508. i farted
1512. Kissing my girlfriend goodnight she crossed her legs and broke my glasses
1513. Lightning struck my dick!
1514. I'm on a mission from GOD
1515. Saw what they wear under their kilts.
1516. cats got my tounge
1517. cats got my tounge
1518. out of my mind
1519. fuck you cock monster .
1520. shit I work , sorry I was smokeing pot , and get high ,do you wanna get high with me . (come to work now !) rrrright ,I'll be their dude. smoke on man at the top. Catch you, win I see you . el bosso
1521. ya , i did one of those wake in bakes with sake in bake ,but it not work out.
1522. I'll kill you , don't call me to come to work ,you shit brick, motherfucking ass faggot gay man fag eat dick sucker, go away , fag man.
1523. I'll do you if you don't count me tardy
1524. i really don't like work
1525. i set my alarm at 7pm
1526. My cat had a hairball
1527. I just plum forgot
1528. Kid got stuck in dryer
1529. Light bulb broke
1530. broke my dick
1531. broke my dick
1532. broke my dick
1533. fucked around 2 long
1534. had mad wild sex till 2 hours ago and my legs are too wide apart to walk
1535. isaac4ever@yahoo.com ( write me and i'll give you one.
1536. i can't think of any at this very moment but i'll get back to you on pay day (isaac4ever@yahoo.com
1537. im in sane
1539. I had to call in well because i feel too great to go to work
1540. the world ended
1541. i got raped
1542. had sex all night
1543. i drank orange glo
1544. i hade food poisning
1545. thats retarded
1546. thats retarded!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1547. (guy) in labor
1548. FUCK YOU ALL YOU FUCKED UP FUCKERS
1549. your wife wouldn't let me go home.
1550. cat wouldn't let me get dressed
1551. I'm DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1552. I dunno
1553. I didn't wanna
1554. I quit.
1555. Who do you think you are phoning me up? IM THE BOSS!!!!Your Fired!!!!! :-)
1558. I Forgot!!!
1559. I Didn't want to
1560. i dont know
1561. I WAS ON THE TOILET
1562. I GOT A HOT DOG STUCK LAST NIGHT
1563. What da hell is that pussy for???
1564. Seeps is got a girl
1565. Seeps is got a girl
1566. I was looking at the grinchs green genitals oye
1567. Yeh I'm partial 2 doin my work oye...............
1568. Im rescuing nemoye from petes duye
1569. I was alsoye looking for Nemoye but we found nemoye in the end :)
1571. I was being cruyde with jar jar binks erotic poykers
1572. We were lunching it in the snack bar yuh yuh.....
1573. i tried to lick my back, in the process slipping on a banana my head got jammed up my ass.....as you can see i have fully recovered now but i'm still not gonna do your work cos u suck balls
1574. I was painting my genitals green
1575. I was dis lodging stu's head
1576. à toi 1577
1577. c gentil,mais j'ai trops peur...à toi 1578!
1578. I'm a douche bag
1579. I DON'T WANNA
1580. I was Facking my nieghbours wife !
1581. I was fucking my nieghbours wife !
1582. new world war began, i did not sleep will because of the aircraft on my country.
1583. my dick was erect
1586. I thoughy I have three balls
1587. I thoughy I have three balls
1588. i got no willy
1589. my testical was crushed by a hobo with a hammer
1590. my cats ear fell of by kial s
1591. thatr testical 1 was by kial
1592. i shag a donkey and my nob got lost
1593. my testical was crushed by a hobo with a hammer by kial s
1594. i shag a donkey and my nob got lost
1595. my testical was crushed by a hobo with a hammer by kial s
1596. school suxx kial s
1597. kiss my ass ass hole
1598. washing your cum out of my hair
1599. i have bloody home work 2 do
1600. i have bloody home work 2 do
1601. i am pregnant and r about 2 burst
1602. to busy praying for all the sick people that wrote in ahead of me.
1603. fucking got fired
1604. wasnt able to move
1605. what are you talking about me and your wife went to work last night
1606. I was taking a mental health day
1607. To lazy
1608. didn't want to
1609. poop
1613. I have a dentist apontment
1614. I have a dentist apontment
1617. u sucked my cock
1618. i died yesterday
1619. I was telling George Bush that he's the stupidist fuck in the world but then he was so stupid that he didn't understand so I had to explain with litttle puppets and halfway through he needed a nap and when he woke up I finished explaining but he still didn't understand so I told him to go fuck off and leave everyone alone and stop being a dumb shit and then he fucked off the stupid fucker!ROT ROT ROT!!!
1620. found out your wife had herpies
1621. found out your wife had herpies
1622. I was with your wife
1623. I was busy having fun with your daughter
1624. board
1625. Damn
1626. Damn
1627. your girl friend was screaming like ''ahh ahh ahh ahhhhhhhh so i wanted to stay & make sure she was ok
1628. had more children to fuck than usally
1629. Damn you smell like shit
1630. fucked my dog in the ass and got stuck
1631. was hanging out getting drunk and i was like weeeeeeeeeeeee
1632. I was finger in my self.
1633. I've got a bone in my leg
1634. i was thinking of a good excuse
1635. damn i had a good excuse..... hold on ill rember
1638. im sorry i was just about to kill myself after reading all this crap
1639. sorry i was trying to get r kelly of my 12 year old little sister
1640. i droped my pocket and couldnt find it
1641. penis pussy dick face
1642. I WANT PUSSY PENIS DICK FACE
1643. had to drive fucked up kid to school
1644. your wifes hot
1645. I was busy looking at nude pictures of your mamma
1646. had to go see my parents in prison
1647. You may have noticed your wife wasn't in, either...
1648. I spent the day searching for my knee pads.
1649. If I told you what I was doing, you'd fire me.
1650. oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo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